Living, Loving, and Running : Constant Chatter

This may be the hardest post I have written since I started this blog in January.... oh well here goes nothing!

In May I started an 8 week intense Tabata Bootcamp class. This class is being taught by Shannon Colavecchio with Badass Fitness. Shannon raved about this class after she attended the training session the end of April. Once she announced the classes would start on May 13th, the day after my 37th birthday, I figured it would be a great way to celebrate another year and keep motivated through the summer months. I tend to struggle with keeping up a workout routine through the summer months and this seemed perfect.

When May 13th rolled around I became very nervous! The first session would include an assessment period. The assessment would mean getting on a scale, being measured in the waist and thighs plus strength assessments. The strength assessment would include how many v-sits, push-ups and squats can you do in a minute. I didn't mind any of it except getting on the scale. I complied with the requirement because that's just it, it's a requirement!

Why am I writing this blog? I want to share what I have felt in the past 30 days.

Weigh - In day is the hardest of all the days. We've had three "weigh in" days and each time I have struggled. I have lost a few pounds in the past 30 days; however, it's not the amount I wanted to loose. I obsess over the number on the scale and that must stop! I remind my friends that the number on the scale doesn't matter. I remind them it's the energy they feel that counts. I rejoice with them when they text me a picture of themselves wearing something that's not fit in months or years in a case or two. If I can encourage my friends with those thoughts then why I can't I do the same for myself?

Then there's the Strength Assessment - another portion of our "weigh - in" day. How many reps of V-Sits, Push-Ups and Squats can you do in a minute? I'm stronger in these areas than I was a month ago! I look forward to this every other week why can't I look forward to seeing the scale?

I know the answer to both questions. The constant chatter in my brain is why this happens. I allow negative thoughts to hold me back and keep me from seeing the little successes. I allow a number on a scale to determine my value. In my heart I know this is wrong! I'm a believer; therefore, I know in my heart my value is my faith. I really need to concentrate on fighting those negative thoughts....every single day! Again, I encourage others to avoid these thoughts, I can't let myself go down that path either.

My Prayfit devotional this morning was exactly what I needed. This is what I should be striving for on a daily basis: "As believers, we have to employ healthy habits in our lives. The goal of abundant life needs to become part of our DNA. If it wasn’t something that we have to consciously do, God wouldn’t have reminded us. Some things don’t come naturally, whether it be motivation, athletic ability, coordination. But none of that matters. God sees the heart, so don’t spend time critiquing the mirror or applauding it. Get moving in order to reflect Him. Serve others, be an example to kids, help neighbors, get active in church. When we say health is a means of praise, we don’t mean for ourselves."

So today I declare a new goal : "I WILL not allow the number on the scale to determine the value of my soul."